Author Topic: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!  (Read 4507 times)

LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #36 on: October 10, 2018, 10:21:55 am »
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2018, 10:22:33 am »
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any amulets

LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #38 on: October 10, 2018, 10:23:21 am »
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any amulets
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2018, 10:26:18 am »
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any amulets

LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #40 on: October 10, 2018, 10:29:26 am »
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any amulets

LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #41 on: October 10, 2018, 10:31:20 am »
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any amulets
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #42 on: October 15, 2018, 04:19:09 pm »
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but ****.
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #43 on: October 15, 2018, 04:22:17 pm »
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees. After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The bastard used coins, so I'm still picking it up and he is still having sex with me!"
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any amulets
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #44 on: October 15, 2018, 04:25:02 pm »
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A doctor." "And why's that?" "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #45 on: October 15, 2018, 04:27:58 pm »
Employe: "I bet you $6,000 i can **** in your cup 30 meters away."
Boss: "Ok I would like to see you try."
Employee: As he moves on pissing all over the floor loosing $6,000 not caring.
Boss: "Ha you just lost $6,000."
Secretary: "God damn it!"
Boss: "Whats wrong?"
Secretary: "He bet me $200,000 he could **** all over your floor and you would be happy about it!"
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any amulets

LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #46 on: October 17, 2018, 10:47:39 am »
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #47 on: October 17, 2018, 10:49:22 am »
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.

The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #48 on: October 17, 2018, 10:54:34 am »
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet -- I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #49 on: October 22, 2018, 10:22:40 am »
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #50 on: October 22, 2018, 10:23:57 am »
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #51 on: October 24, 2018, 09:42:41 am »
At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" "Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?" "Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won't do."
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LViroj

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Re: Jokes and Funny Pictures !!!
« Reply #52 on: October 24, 2018, 09:43:30 am »
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father's firm.

At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father's office and said, "Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you've been working on for so long!"

His father yelled, "You idiot! We've been living on the funding of that case for ten years!"
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